A classic anxiety therapist line is “stop ‘shoulding’ yourself.” The word “should” shows up so much in therapy that “should statements” are considered a cognitive distortion (thoughts that distort the way you see yourself, others, or the world). They’re these invisible rules running your life in the background, but often don’t reflect what you actually want or need to do.

Many high-achieving women go their whole lives chasing the next goalpost - the thing they “should” do next or what their family or colleagues expect of them. They’re successful - and yet confused why it never feels like “enough.”